I hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving! As the holidays are officially here, I like to take some extra time to reflect on all of the things I have to be thankful for. Majority of the time it is always family. I have an amazing family that stands behind me 100%. They are trusting, loyal, and will always have my back. I am fortunate because not many have families who are like this, and the holidays can be a reminder of that. My word of advice for that, is do not put yourself in the situation where you are going to feel anxious, domineered, angry, hurt, or unhappy. Even though it’s the holidays, and tradition says you need to spend it with family, do what makes you happy.

I am also really fortunate to have some amazing friends. Friends I have had most of my life. Friends who have become family and their family has become family. I am extra thankful for one of those families this year and the support they have shown me recently. I cannot imagine how different my life would be without those friends.

I of course take the time to be thankful for my boys. I know it sounds cliché but those two saved my life. As you all know I was in a really dark place for a few years dealing with everything I had in my past relationship. I truly think they were what gave me the courage to finally say, “I have had enough” It wasn’t just me anymore, my actions affected them as well.  

It has been just the boys as I for a couple of years now and I sometimes find myself thinking how great it would be to share the memories with someone, the holidays definitely do not make that any easier. I remind myself that this is a much better alternative that where we were. I often fear the boys will think they are missing out on something, and maybe one day that time will come but for now, I focus on the present and engulf myself with the fact that I am loved and have two of the best gifts anyone could ask for.

I am going to get a little sappy on you now but, bear with me! I grew up catholic, spent time in the church and even when I moved across the country, I kept up my faith, attending church every Sunday. I thoroughly enjoyed the peace I felt when I left or the time, I had to kind of clear my thoughts. When I moved back home, I didn’t make it a priority and when everything happened with my past relationship, I’ll be honest, I lost my faith. Truthfully, I am still lost. I have not attended church in a few years, and I have not felt a connection with God in some time. I know this may sound selfish, because compared to others I have had a really good life but that is the difference between sympathy and empathy. Saying “it could be worse” or “at least…”  are sympathetic phrases and they are actually more harmful to a person than they are comforting. Those who have their faith and have a connection with God cherish it and understand it.

I know I have a had a good life so far and I wouldn’t change a single minute of it because it has led me to where I am today. Although I have lost my faith with God, I know one day I will be able to gain that connection again but, for now I am taking responsibilities for my actions.

When I get that connection back, instead of asking myself “why did you do this to me?” I am going to ask myself “What are you trying to teach me?” Whoever or whatever you believe in, I ask you to take some credit for what you do alone. God is a mysterious and powerful person but if you make a wrong turn, your directions change.

This holiday season I ask you to reflect on yourself, no outside impacts. Were you happy with yourself, with your decisions, with your choices? Now is the time to forgive and move forward. Put it all in the past and look towards the future. Afterall, a new year’s resolution is a chance at a new beginning.