I’m about to open up to y’all with one of my biggest insecurities/flaw/discomforts
I have. My weight. I have struggled my entire life with it. I have always felt
unattractive or just plain ugly because of it. I know there are times I don’t
take care of myself but it general I try to watch what I eat, and I am an
active person… haha I’m a mama of two toddlers, of course I’m active! And yet,
I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. I dread bathing suit season and
have even not attended events because of it. All through school I felt like I
was the fat friend, and that people were only friendly with me because of my
pretty friends. It weighed on me heavy for many years and still does sometimes!

I try to take care of myself and try to increase body positivity and
sometimes I feel good about how I look but not always. I have tried diet after
diet, crazy fasting and exercising, and all those fad pills and whatever else I
could do. Nothing seems to work, so time for my next adventure!

Instead of dieting and removing all of those things I love I’m taking a new
approach and eliminating processed foods, well where I can at least.

I started this a little over a week ago—no fast food, no coke, no takeout. I
have been making everything I can from scratch. I set a goal to make a homemade
meal every night for dinner, have leftovers for my lunch at work, and meal prep
a breakfast item. So far, I have stuck to this plan, and I already have
eliminated the cravings for those things, plus I have this amazing reward of self-accomplishment
when I place that dinner on the table. Yesterday was Taco Tuesday, as it is
every week in our house. I made my own taco seasoning, instead of the package.
I made my own Pico, instead of buying it at the store, and I made my own
tortillas! Would it have been easier to just grab all the packages out of the
pantry and use those instead? Yes! Did dinner take me extra time to cook? Also,
yes! But my kiddos loved that they got to help mama make tortillas and watch
how it was done and they ate it all! I have also been making my own bread,
coffee creamer, and whatever else I can do to remove all the preservatives!

Like I said before, I am an active person, but I have increased that even
more. Setting a goal to work out every single day and also practice self-care.
I think we all like the idea of self-care but do not know how to execute it. I
spend 20 minutes a day meditating, 10 minutes a day stretching, and at least 30
minutes of exercising! My hope is with this combination I will not only feel
more comfortable with myself but have the confidence to boost others too!

I want you to find your confidence too, so set your own goal and join me!

This is for all of you mamas out there. First of all, you’re a freaking Rockstar and don’t let anyone tell you different. Whether you’re a mama to one, a mama of 12, a stay-at-home mama, a working full-time or part-time mama, running your own business, or whatever else you might be, you are still awesome!

I feel a bit like a hypocrite because I say all of these things and I do mean them because being a mom is flipping hard and if you disagree then tell me all of your secrets! I often find myself at the end of the night questioning whether I could have been a better mom for the day, I lost my patience, I yelled and yes, (gasp) I smacked a butt or two. I hate doing it and I hate losing my patience but sometimes it happens and at the end of the day when they are both safe and asleep in their beds, I feel like a total failure. I know many moms feel the same way and I wish there was more I could do to help, so, here I am at 10pm, my kids are both asleep I just finished up some work I needed to get done and I am thinking about how I lost it this afternoon and questioning, was I a good mom today? Am I enough for them? I got emotional too, watching a movie I have seen 1,000 times before, one I love, and one my kids love too. Unfortunately, it has a rather said beginning and the children lose their mom. That is when it hit me, like a freaking train rolling down the tracks. I am their mama, and I am the most important person in their lives. Even when we have bad times and I lose it, guess who they run to for comfort because their little emotions got away from them, me, their mama. What if they lost me? Who would care for them like I do? May be an unpopular opinion but there is no one who could love and care for my children the way I do because I am their mom. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends all love my children and would go above and beyond for them, but they will never love them like I do and that is okay, at least they are loved and let’s hope the worry of them being without me is not going to happen anytime in the near future.

Children are like tiny sponges; they are absorbing this whole world around them. A world they have only been in for a short time. Sometimes they get overwhelmed, sometimes they have bad days, but they are not bad kids. I read an article a while back talking about how parents call their kids bad, and I try not to use the term anymore because they are not bad, they have bad moments. They get overwhelmed with the world and causes them to have little tantrums. My advice, let them have the tantrum and it will then pass. Sometimes they just need to release the frustration and that is the best way they know how. Don’t get me wrong kids can be bad and there are plenty out there, but not all. I try to teach my kids manners and how to behave and mind, guess what…they don’t sometimes. Do I get frustrated? Of course, I do but I just say to myself, I am doing the best that I can, and tomorrow is a new day.

So, for all you mamas out there who are maybe having a similar day to mine, questioning your motherhood ask yourself these questions; do your children have a roof over their head, food in their belly, and a family who loves them so much? If you answer yes to any of those, then mama you are a freaking Rockstar.

Support the 2% that feeds the 100%

Well, here we are halfway through January, and it has already been a whirlwind of a month! I am working on some exciting things and plan on post more often but ya know life is crazy sometimes to say the least! I am going to start diving into the nitty gritty of why I started this blog in the first place. Yes, it was about getting my story out there in hopes of helping someone else, plus my own mental health! I learned very quickly that life goes on and sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. I am getting very good at that recently! I spent only a few years in an abusive relationship, and it did a toll on me, I cannot even imagine being in one for a lifetime, like so many are! I am here to tell you it gets better.

As some of you know, I started a new job at the end of December, and I am so happy with it and the treatment I have already been given. I feel so appreciated and valued in such a short amount of time that I know it will just continue to grow. It is so nice to have someone in your cheering section and wanting you to do better and better. That being said I am within the conservation and agriculture world, my true passion. I started this blog to help other see and learn where their food comes from and what all of those pesky labels mean on your food. Hopefully, I can encourage some of you to grow your own gardens or maybe this will just help open some of y’all’s eyes on the industry! I have a t-shirt I purchased a couple years ago from this fabulous online boutique called Wandering Maverick Boutique—look them up on social media, you won’t be disappointed—it says support the 2% that feeds the 100% and I have never felt something more true to my heart than that. Nowadays we see so many things about impossible meats, STOP just stop eating that. I know celebrities and media has implanted in your brain that the cattle and chicken industry is “killing us” but I promise they are not. There is more crap and junk in that “plant based” meat than there is in a nice farm raised burger, I can promise you that. I won’t jump into my soap box quite yet on the subject, but I will soon!

Right now, I just want to let y’all know that I have a few things up my sleeve that I am going to be working on a bit more! Time to get this rodeo started!

Follow me on Instagram and Facebook where I will be posting a lot more often! How do y’all feel about cooking videos and possible podcast???

Hey everyone!

I hope ya’ll had an amazing Christmas and are going to have an even better New Year’s Eve! I am sorry I have been absent for a little while. Things have been crazy around the house! Not only did we have back-to-back Christmases to celebrate with family we also had to take time to recognize my eldest’s birthday, his poor soul was born on December 26^th. Luckily, I try to make that day super special to show him how important he is.

I also took on a new career! One I am very excited about! I finally feel like I’m where I am supposed to be, I know this opportunity is going to be huge for me and my family so I cannot wait to see how I grow.

As we ring in the new year tonight, I want everyone to think about how far they have come in the past year. Maybe you bought a new house, maybe you go married, maybe you had a baby, or maybe you just trudged through the year like so many others did and guess what? THAT IS OKAY TOO! Do not let anyone make you feel less just because you had a trying year, so many other did as well! Also, for goodness’ sake STOP looking at social media accounts and assume their lives are perfect. No one gets real with their social medias and we have this unrealistic portrayal of a perfect couple or a perfect couple when they also have demons in their closets.

A new year is a new beginning to become the best version of yourself, take time to figure out who that person is, you won’t regret it.

Something I have always wanted to do was convert over to cast iron. If you saw earlier, I posted a video on restoring cast iron skillets. I am proud to say I no longer have any other skillets other than my cast iron ones. They are relatively easy to “season” and I personally think the taste of food is so much better.

My mom would use cast iron growing up, but I feel like within my generation the use of cast iron kind of fell off, especially with the introduction of all these fancy appliances we have now! Something about cooking with cast iron brings me back to a different feel, a different time, an easier time. I know it is just a skillet, but it makes me think about a simpler life. Don’t get me wrong there is no life that is simple, just different. In our world now, everything revolves around our phones. We can do everything on it! Even in my generation I have seen technology I never thought I would see. Yes, I remember the days of VHS and dial up internet and yes, I am old. Somehow when I use cast iron, I feel like I have been taken back to a world where my smartphone doesn’t exist and maybe it is just my imagination running wild, but I wouldn’t change it any other way.

It is not just the feeling I love when using cast iron, I also love the way my food tastes after cooking with it. I can absolutely taste a difference between food cooked in cast iron compared to Teflon. It has a sizzle; I like to call it.

If you haven’t noticed already, I like to share. I like to share my life, my troubles, my triumphs, my recipes, a little bit of everything. I have opened up myself for this page and my hope is to create a connection and maybe, just maybe, my rambling will help someone along the way.

Stay tuned for an upcoming video where I can show you how I cook with cast iron!

Hey ya’ll, sorry it has been a while. Everyone knows life just gets away from us sometimes and that is okay! I’m here to remind you, live your life, do the dang things, and just love every minute of it.

It is hard for me to say that too because I am a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to just living life. I STRESS, like do so many others but I let it get the best of me sometimes. I have been really working hard at doing what makes me happy and focusing on self-care. I know I have talked about this before and that is because I believe it is so important, especially as a mom. You are not the best you can be when you have mounds of stress on your shoulders. I know my body tells me when I need to cool my jets. After so much exhaustion, your immune system starts to suffer and when that happens, it’s inevitable; you’re going to get sick. When I start to feel down, I know I really need to take care of myself for a little while otherwise everyone suffers.

Moms especially, I know we have that dreaded mom guilt about letting someone else take care of your kids for a while, but it is so important to take care of yourself too. If you have a loving and supportive partner who takes 50% of the responsibility of caring for your children, then that is awesome, and I am so happy for you! Use that to your advantage and remember, they need a break too now and then. I think as women we are expected to be the caregiver, it’s in our nature and that is how it has been done for years. However, we live in a world now where single income is not enough to care for your family and you need that second income so many moms are out here doing both, dads too. I just want to say, were total badasses!

If you’re a single mom like me then not only are you the sole caregiver for your kids, you’re also the sole provider too. Let me tell you, I see you out there, killing it, and I know how hard it is! I am fortunate enough to have family and if I need a break, sometimes I just have to take it. But, as soon as I do, I immediately feel guilty about it. Its normal.

The past week has been especially hard on me because my youngest has decided he had separation anxiety from me. Its mild for the most case, except when we are all headed to bed. Sometimes it takes 2 hours to get him to calm down and fall asleep, sometimes it leads to vomiting. It’s been slowly getting better as I have been trying new things and suggestions, but I have been so exhausted that I felt a headache and some sickness coming on, so I did what I thought was right and asked a family member to watch the boys while I took a nap. Let me tell you, I woke up from a 40-minute nap like a brand-new person.

I am also a fan of essential oils. I do think they help, especially when I’m trying to get to sleep. I have a diffuser in almost every room of my house, and I have been trying to keep up with them. If you haven’t used them before I suggest you do some research and decide if it is something you want in your home. Like before I mentioned Melaleuca, I get my oils from there as well and have never been let down.

Whoever you are, remember self-care is important and take some time for yourself. You deserve it!

This may be a controversial topic but it’s something I want to talk about none the less. I grew up a farm kid. We had dairy cows from the time I was born until I was about 17 then we switched over and still have a beef cattle operation. I learned from a very young age what my consequences are to my actions. I was given chores at a very young age, and it helped me learn responsibility. Granted my chores started out small maybe feeding the cats or gathering eggs from the chickens, but they were still my chores and needed to be done before it was time to go inside for the night. I also learned something very early in life, death. I learned how tender life is and how important it is. I watched cats, dogs, chickens, goats, cattle, horses, and anything else in between leave this world and I understood what it meant.

This past weekend my mother had to put her dog down. Never an easy thing especially for my mom who dearly loved her dog, but she was an elderly St. Bernard and if you don’t know, large dogs never live for a long time, and she had well surpassed that age range. She had a great life and her body had just given out on her. Now as you can imagine, she is not a small dog and therefore my parents needed help with her. That meant my boys were also present for what was going on. As a parent it was my duty to explain—the best way I could—what exactly was going on. I explained to them that death is a part of life and sometimes these things happen. I explained to them we believe there is a heaven and that is where our souls go after we die. So, we talked about how her body could no longer take care of her and she would go to heaven, and she wouldn’t come back.

You might think I am crazy for having this conversation with my soon to be three and two year old’s but I think something we do is try to protect our kids from every bad thing. That just isn’t logical, and I will never tell someone else how to parent their children. For me and my family, I believe explaining to them the aspects of life is essential, whether they are good or bad. We do not sugar coat things and my kids understand –for the most part— what is happening around them. Before all of this happened, we had other deaths around the farm, they’re inevitable. When it happens, we have the same conversation with them.

It’s also deer season here in Ohio, specifically shotgun season and being where we are from, we are avid hunters and live in an area where there are many other hunters taking advantage of the week. So, on our way to work we notice a decent number of trucks parked on the sides of roads and we talk about what they are doing. As a conservationist, I usually get a lot of backlashes that I am a hunter. What people do not understand is that hunting is a part of conservation.

Here comes the education side of me, if you look at an ecosystem and take in all the pieces of it and how they all work together, there is a balance. Now, just for arguments sake we add in a heavy population of deer, what happens? The ecosystem is thrown off balance and it can cause tremendous chain reaction all the way back down to the soil. Don’t believe me? Do a small test ecosystem of your own and see what happens when you throw off the balance. Hunting is there to keep the balance and our ancestors have been hunting for thousands of years.

I was also taught that when we do hunt it’s for a reason, and nothing or very little is wasted. My family obviously eats meat, so do many other families. To me, it’s important to know where my food comes from. My oldest asks me often if we eat certain animals and why. Knowing where your food is from is essential to a healthy diet and just because they are kids doesn’t mean you need to shade them from the truth on all aspects. Explain death to them, explain why things happen. If you don’t live on a farm or somewhere like it that doesn’t mean you can’t have these conversations with your kiddos. It’s easier for us because we have real life experiences right in front of us. Try picking up some children’s books or visit a local butcher shop that has fresh meat or even just sit down and talk with your kids about how life always comes to an end. You’re doing them a favor in the long run and hey, if you don’t feel comfortable then don’t do it. They are your kids and it’s not my business or anyone else’s business to tell you how to be a parent!

I hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving! As the holidays are officially here, I like to take some extra time to reflect on all of the things I have to be thankful for. Majority of the time it is always family. I have an amazing family that stands behind me 100%. They are trusting, loyal, and will always have my back. I am fortunate because not many have families who are like this, and the holidays can be a reminder of that. My word of advice for that, is do not put yourself in the situation where you are going to feel anxious, domineered, angry, hurt, or unhappy. Even though it’s the holidays, and tradition says you need to spend it with family, do what makes you happy.

I am also really fortunate to have some amazing friends. Friends I have had most of my life. Friends who have become family and their family has become family. I am extra thankful for one of those families this year and the support they have shown me recently. I cannot imagine how different my life would be without those friends.

I of course take the time to be thankful for my boys. I know it sounds cliché but those two saved my life. As you all know I was in a really dark place for a few years dealing with everything I had in my past relationship. I truly think they were what gave me the courage to finally say, “I have had enough” It wasn’t just me anymore, my actions affected them as well.  

It has been just the boys as I for a couple of years now and I sometimes find myself thinking how great it would be to share the memories with someone, the holidays definitely do not make that any easier. I remind myself that this is a much better alternative that where we were. I often fear the boys will think they are missing out on something, and maybe one day that time will come but for now, I focus on the present and engulf myself with the fact that I am loved and have two of the best gifts anyone could ask for.

I am going to get a little sappy on you now but, bear with me! I grew up catholic, spent time in the church and even when I moved across the country, I kept up my faith, attending church every Sunday. I thoroughly enjoyed the peace I felt when I left or the time, I had to kind of clear my thoughts. When I moved back home, I didn’t make it a priority and when everything happened with my past relationship, I’ll be honest, I lost my faith. Truthfully, I am still lost. I have not attended church in a few years, and I have not felt a connection with God in some time. I know this may sound selfish, because compared to others I have had a really good life but that is the difference between sympathy and empathy. Saying “it could be worse” or “at least…”  are sympathetic phrases and they are actually more harmful to a person than they are comforting. Those who have their faith and have a connection with God cherish it and understand it.

I know I have a had a good life so far and I wouldn’t change a single minute of it because it has led me to where I am today. Although I have lost my faith with God, I know one day I will be able to gain that connection again but, for now I am taking responsibilities for my actions.

When I get that connection back, instead of asking myself “why did you do this to me?” I am going to ask myself “What are you trying to teach me?” Whoever or whatever you believe in, I ask you to take some credit for what you do alone. God is a mysterious and powerful person but if you make a wrong turn, your directions change.

This holiday season I ask you to reflect on yourself, no outside impacts. Were you happy with yourself, with your decisions, with your choices? Now is the time to forgive and move forward. Put it all in the past and look towards the future. Afterall, a new year’s resolution is a chance at a new beginning.

Something I have been trying to do in my home, is be more sustainable. Some of you are probably wondering, what does that look like? To me sustainability is objective and therefore anyone can create their own sustainability. I work on trying to be sustainable in a couple of different aspects. One is cleaning. I’ll admit it, I am a bit of a clean freak and I love a nice clean smelling house. The problem is majority of people clean using harmful chemicals or go through about a billion paper towels in the process. I know this because I used to be one of them.

I have worked really hard to find more ecofriendly cleaning products because, well one, harmful chemicals are horrible in your home, its unsafe; two, my kids love to help me clean and I do not want them using those products either, or three, using more ecofriendly products is obviously, ECOFRIENDLY.

I found products I absolutely love with Melaleuca. Melaleuca is an online on stop shop and I have been a member for few months and have yet to find something I don’t like. Not only do I get ecofriendly cleaning products, a sigh of relief for this mama! I also transitioned almost all my makeup as well. Yes, they carry makeup and not only safe but it’s some of the best makeup I have ever owned. Guess what the best part is? Its affordable! Gasp! Most of the time these products are so expensive that it is not something you can keep up with over time, but their products are amazing, and it is no different than taking myself to the drug store to buy them. I have successfully transitioned all my cleaning products, including hand soap and laundry detergent, I also have transitioned almost all of my makeup and skin care products and a ton of my toiletry items like toothpaste, deodorant and so on. It is such an easy thing to do, and I promise you won’t regret it! Questions? Ask me!

Like I said before I was really bad about using an entire roll of paper towels to clean with. For obvious reasons that is horrible for the planet. I found some alternatives that were okay, but I didn’t love them, until now! I recently purchased Swedish dish towels, if you haven’t heard of these bad boys, do yourself and favor and google them! One towel replaces 18 rolls, yes 18, of paper towels. They are easy to care for and again, affordable!

Plastic is a big issue for myself too, I have been really trying to limit the amount of plastic in my house, but it seems to be never ending. Let’s be honest, with kiddos it’s hard to eliminate plastic since all of their snacks are wrapped in it. Every year I talk about doing a plastic free month but that is just not realistic for a family with small kids, one day I will get there, and my boys will jump in to help too. In the meantime, I will just reduce where I can. By using reusable silicone baggies, bamboo and coconut scrub brushes for the dishes, Swedish dishcloths, metal or reusable plastic straws, reusable water bottles (this one is actually easy, since I haven’t bought water bottles in years!) I use a lot of glass containers in my house for organizing but the sad thing is, most of the products within them came from plastic packaging. My hope is one day, plastic packaging will be a thing in past and we can move to a more sustainable packaging alternative!

In the picture you can see some of my favorite products! Some items were purchased on amazon and the rest is only a small portion of my favorite Melaleuca products!